I must admit that I have often prioritized having deep meaningful conversations and dismissed the idea of small talk as boring and unengaging. But, in the last few months, I’ve been moved by moments of small talk, interacting with people I don’t know.

The feeling of loving a friend, partner, or family member is all-consuming and comforting. Despite the hills and valleys that come with that intimate relationship, love has a way of shining bright through it all. But, what happens when the seeds of hate start to sprout in a garden of love and you find yourself filled with both admiration and disdain for the same person?

In Freud’s view, a human is driven towards tension reduction, in order to reduce feelings of anxiety.  Most of what we fear primarily involves distortions or false perceptions shaping situations that do not present a threat to your survival. Anxiety is an aversive inner state that people seek to avoid or escape. We do everything humanly possible to avoid feeling paralyzed by fear and anxiety through defense mechanisms

When I was growing up, the sound of my parents bickering would bring any joyous activity to a halt. It was like listening to a broken record that had been scratched and played way too many times.  In most cases, the replaying soundtrack is the sign of a distressed relationship. Relationships can be wonderful. However, like anything else in life, there are flip sides to relationships.

When you think of intimacy, a deep and personal connection to others may be the first thing that comes to mind. However, intimacy is not exclusively about how one relates to or interacts to those close to them. While it can be a shared experience, it only takes one person to make it happen.

Ebony, a 26 year-old woman, describes a routine disagreement with her mother to her therapist. Ebony’s parents divorced when she was 8 years old.  Since then, Ebony says her mother has made impulsive decisions, not always in her best interest regarding employment opportunities and relationships with men, family members and friends.

The debate over whether gender is a biological or social construct continues to dominate conversations, especially regarding what it means to be masculine in the 21st century.  Although boys are still treated differently than girls, this gendering process is not as strongly supported by parents today as it was 30 years ago.

If someone you care about says “if you love me, then you would (fill in the blank),” you are actually hearing that person’s anxieties. Underlying these anxieties is a need to control the parameters of how love is shown. You want your partner to make you feel better by trying to communicate in the only way you know how to–by attempting to control his or her behavior.

It’s the most wonderful time of the year, or is it? For many people, mixed feelings arise during the holidays, especially if they don’t have a true and deep sense of belonging within a social group, whether that’s family, friends, or any other social connection. It’s not easy to meet people who are reasonably thoughtful and emotionally sensitive.